造化弄人－－贫病知朋友,离乱识爱情

转载一篇伤心人的恋爱故事.我还以为这个世界上只我一个"倒霉蛋"呢?原来,还真是无独有偶!
作者的文笔流畅优美，读来令人...,发现最近不但英文全无长进，汉语也几乎成了"邯郸学步".实在糟糕透了.

My sweetest 我的甜心

I had been loveless for 2 years since that painful breakup with my 7 years boyfriend. 自从和那个谈了7年的男朋友分手后，我已经度过了两年的"无爱"的时光. I was supposed
to get married, everything was set and just waited for that special date to come
when suddenly he called it off ,for reason that he lost his love long ago but was
afraid to admit because of expectations. I was devastated! . 我以为我要结婚，每一件事都给安排好了，就等着那个特别的日子降临.不料想,他突然取消了婚约.原因是他很早就不再爱我了,但是因为彼此的期望,害怕承认罢了.I resigned from job, left my friends and the place that I considered home for 9 years..我辞职了，离开了我的朋友,和那个我9年来都一直曾以为是家的地方. I wanted to be yanked out from everything that reminded me of him. 我想把自己从任何能使我想起他的事物中猛拉出来.It was a hard decision leaving a job where I invested efforts, time, plus the potential career wonders of what the city can offer,...more importantly the company of friends. 这是一个艰难的决定.离开我曾经付之努力，时间的工作和这所城市能赋予我的潜在的职业机遇.I needed a new life ! .但，我需要的是一个全新的生活. My frustrations and heartaches were triumphant .我的挫败和心痛胜利了.So I returned home,
engrossed myself in my new job, enrolled night classes of the law school and gotten
myself preoccupied of anything aside from remembering my hurts. ….所以我离开了家乡，把自己投身到一个新工作中，报名了法律专业的夜校班,使自己全身心地先关注别的事物，以免想起我的痛.Yet the pain was a curse! 然而，痛苦是一个魔咒.…It did not want to leave me! .它不想离开我.I
became addicted to sleeping pills, but somehow it was a respite from those sleepless
nights.. 我开始依赖安眠片,但是,它不过是那些无眠夜晚的暂缓罢了。
The cycle continued for more than a year till one day someone changed it all….这种
状况持续了一年多,直到一天，某人的出现把这一切全部改变了.He was an Air force guy whom I met at the internet.他是我在网上认识的一个空军. For months that I lurked at the chat
rooms, I spoke to several strangers and everyone had commonalities, they came and
went after I shone away from their most liked topic which was sex.. 数月来，我伏在聊天室
里,我和几个陌生人聊天，但是每个人都有一个共性,他们来了又去了,在我避开他们最喜欢的性话题后.This guy was a tremendous difference, .. 但这个家伙是个大大的不同.Surely he was not the most handsome guy, but there was something in him and in his way to his words that made him special. .诚然，他不是最帅的那种,但是他的内心里有某种东西,他的言语方式使他很显得很特别.He lost his girlfriend on a car accident where he was the driver.. 他丢失了他的女朋友,那次他驾着车,女朋友死于车祸.We were the same, different experiences yet on the same boat of having hard time in accepting the love that we lost!我们是相同的，尽管具体经历不同,但是我们都失去了爱,我们是同病相怜的.
Chats continued for months and with all those moments he never failed to impressed me. 聊天持续了数月.他从来都那么令我欢喜和印象深刻.He was so sweet and caring and falling for him was inevitable..他那么甜蜜和体贴,爱上他是不可避免的事情. We fell in love with each other and indeed was the hardest thing to deny despite distance , time, and cultural differences , him as a Western, I as an Asian ,it was hard to believe
but love covered it all…我们彼此恋爱了.最艰难的事情是否认它.尽管距离,时间和文化的不同,他是一个西方人，我是一个亚洲人,这实在令人难以置信,但是,爱可以包罗一切...How wonderful it was to love and be loved in return. 爱与被爱同时发生是一件多么美妙的事情呀!With him, I was hopeful, I was beautiful , and I started to believe again,,…so many reasons that he gave me to continue with life ..Life was beautiful. 生命里有了他，我又变的充满希望,美丽,我再次开始相信爱,他给我许多理由让我继续生活,是的,生活是如此美好.My joy was exuberant to learn that I too spelled wonders to him. 我的快乐是如此充溢,我也学着给他制造奇迹.
You do not have any idea how he turned my days into rainbows .你无法想象他如何把我
的每一天都变成彩虹似的绚烂.Everyday that counted were the happiest days in my life.每一天都是我生命里最幸福的日子. I became exemplary in my job, at school I improved.我在工作中是模范,学业也有很大提升. My sleeping problem was cured.我的失眠问题也治愈了。 Love energized me, placed back all the sense of worth that I knew I lost.爱赋予了我无限生机,拉回了那些我知道我已经丢失的感觉. It made me accept my past.爱使我接受了我的过去. My tears were flowing when he said he wanted me to be the mother of his kids, wanted to marry me, that he wanted and needed me so much .当他对我说他想染故我是他孩子的母亲,想让我嫁给他,他想我,非常非常需要我时,我潸然泪下.He finalized to come later this November to meet me and my parents. The joy in my heart were beyond words. I asked him “ARE YOU THE ONE”? And assuredly he replied , Yes I am” THE ONE”. . . 他在今年十月份终于来见我和我的父母.我心中的喜悦难以言表.我问他"你就是他吗?(一首著名的歌名)",他肯定地回答"是的,我是那个他."
Everything changed when I received an email from his so called friend saying that he was gone.. 但是，所有的一切又都改变了.当我收到一封来自他所谓的朋友的EMAIL后,信中说他"去"
了...He died from an improvised explosive device. 他死于一次临时的爆炸设施中.I was dumbfounded and felt how could that merciless IED ripped off his body. .我呆了,无情的爆炸设施如何能突然夺去他的身体? I wished that instead of him it was me who took all the pain , then maybe he would have survived. .我但愿是我,不是他承受这所有的痛,也许他会幸存下来. There was another mail from an anonymous source with a news clip about the death of the American soldiers in Baghlan Iraq..有另一封邮件,来自匿名的里面含有在伊拉克牺牲的美国士兵的文件资料. My heart crashed, it was seriously painful that it killed my heart instantly.我的心轰然坍塌,仿佛我的心立即被绞杀了似的疼痛. I did all possible ways and means to contact him but in vain..我尽一切办法希望联系到他，但是都是徒劳的.I was helpless and so desperate to source out all the information about that death incident in Iraq ,yet all news/television networks around the globe turned negative of the incident..我无助和绝望地搜寻所有的关于伊拉克战争中的阵亡资料,然而所有的消息/电视网络都显示了事件的负面性.I regretted that I failed to asked his parents address, I was so careless..我遗憾我从没问过他父母的地址,我那么粗心... His so called friend never replied back my mails, surprisingly those mails bounced back…. With my hopelessness I checked the
sender addresses and found that it came from a remailer.他所谓的朋友也从来没有回复我的邮件,我的那些邮件都被奇怪地弹回来了。 我徒劳地检查着那些返回我的邮件地址，发现来自一个邮
件处理器.More over, the news clip came from an obviously Muslim extremist site, it was the same news item that was copied, pasted and sent to me.. 而且，那个文件夹明显地来
自一个穆斯林基地,里面是同样的内容被复制,粘贴并送给我. I was silent for a while, and asked
my self, Did someone made a joke ? or was he the one behind all these….. 我沉默了，我问我自己,难道某人在跟我开玩笑吗?或者他是所有这些事情的幕后指使者?But why … I became a restless soul. 但是，为什么?为什么?我成为一个焦虑的灵魂. I preferred that he lied to me about his true feelings other than the sad truth of his death.我宁愿他欺骗我的感情,而不是他死亡的难过真相呀! Whatever it was I asked god to give his mercy and keep him safe and breathing. 无论如何，我请求上帝拿出他的仁慈，保佑他安全地活着.I can not find hate in my heart..我发现在我的心里找不到恨,It harbored only care and love.…只珍藏着爱和关怀.Though I constantly asked myself what could have I done wrongly, but I can not recall anything because what I knew was I only loved sincerely. 尽管我不断地问我自己，我可能做错什么了，但是我不能回忆起任何事情，因为我所知道的只是我真诚地爱着了.
I am grieving.我伤心欲绝. Why can’t something and someone stay.为什么某人某事不能再停留? Memories kept rushing in and I cannot help my tears. 记忆不断涌来，我已经泪眼婆娑. There are words that I remember the most- “ I love you ‘’ HE LOVED ME .. 我始终记得的话只有"我爱你,他爱我". I know people are unlike, but I am certain that my eyes and my heart did not lie nor deceived me, Definitely it was love that I saw in his eyes …我知道人与人是不同的.但是我确信我的眼睛和我的心灵没有撒谎也不能欺骗我.真真切切地,我曾在他的眼睛里看到了"爱".

Today, I am the same loner. I simply do not know how to get over. I am hoping that he would contact me soon and hope that true love will change things… 今天，我依然孤独如昔.我仅仅不知道我该如何恢复过来.我希望他能很快联系我,希望真爱将改变这苦恼的现状.

To the sweetest thing in my life…I miss you..Where ever you are and whatever it is please continue breathing, you have been my strength….my happiness ….I hope you come back.给我生命里最甜蜜的人儿呀...我想你.无论你在那里,无论是什么,请你活着,请你还呼吸着吧!你已经是我的力量,我的幸福,我希望你回来.
注:深夜，翻译这篇帖子，是因为我内心深处也正思念着一个人儿.是的，我的JOHN,何其相象,你是一个西方人，我是一个亚洲人,我从来都没想到我能遇到一个真正意义上的白人,可是，你出现了,带给我无限希冀和愉悦,然而，你又突然说你不能...哎,我能怎样呢?我没有"恨",我只是在感叹这互联网的神奇!
这个网络世界，让东西方沟通无距离,但真实的一切却又那么地扑朔迷离!无论如何，你带给了我前所未有的快乐，甚至成功地挤掉了我前男友在我心中的位置.你是我生命里第一个纯粹意义上的白种人.尽管先前也接触过美国人，但都是亚洲裔的黄种人，你是绝无仅有的纯种白人.
真的,这一切好好玩.我现在都在好奇，我怎么跟这位女士一样，莫名奇妙地邮箱里就来了一大堆不知道从何而来的密密麻麻的英文邮件!这个网络时代，实在让你无处可逃!






